How Communication and Connection Can Make or Break Your Relationships

Andrew Visagie • June 13, 2023

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From Healing to Happiness: A Clinical Psychologist’s Guide to Overcoming Depression and Anxiety

By Andrew Visagie July 15, 2024
The Benefits of Daily Cold Showers: A Comprehensive Guide Cold showers have gained popularity for their potential health benefits, both mental and physical. This article delves into the research-backed advantages of incorporating cold showers into your daily routine and provides practical protocols to maximize their effectiveness. Here, I share my personal journey over 230 days of embracing cold showers and the profound impact it had on my life. Mental Health Benefits 1. Mood Improvement Cold showers can significantly enhance mood by increasing the levels of endorphins and norepinephrine. These chemicals are known to alleviate symptoms of depression and promote a sense of well-being. The sudden exposure to cold water triggers a release of these neurotransmitters, leading to an immediate uplift in mood. Personal Story : On day 15, I noticed a shift in my mood. The initial shock of the cold water was jarring, but as I stood under the icy stream, I felt a surge of energy and positivity. It was as if the cold water washed away my worries, leaving me with a sense of clarity and happiness that lasted throughout the day. 2. Stress Reduction Regular cold showers can help manage stress by reducing cortisol levels, the hormone responsible for stress. The body’s response to cold water immersion involves a reduction in cortisol production, which can lead to a calmer and more balanced state of mind. This practice can be particularly beneficial for individuals dealing with chronic stress. Personal Story : By day 45, I began to see a noticeable reduction in my stress levels. The cold showers became a daily ritual that helped me reset and manage the pressures of work and life. Each time I stepped under the cold water, I reminded myself, “I am discomfort,” embracing the sensation and allowing it to ground me in the present moment. 3. Increased Alertness The shock of cold water can act as a natural stimulant, increasing alertness and energy levels. This effect is similar to the boost provided by caffeine but without the associated jitters. Starting your day with a cold shower can help you feel more awake and ready to tackle the day’s challenges. Personal Story : On day 60, I realized that my morning cold showers had become my secret weapon for staying alert and focused. The initial jolt of cold water was invigorating, and I found myself more productive and energized throughout the day. It was a powerful way to kickstart my mornings. Physical Health Benefits 1. Immune System Boost Cold showers may enhance the immune system by increasing the production of white blood cells, which help fight off infections. Regular exposure to cold water can train the body to respond more effectively to stressors, potentially reducing the frequency of illnesses. Personal Story : By day 90, I noticed that I hadn’t caught a cold or any minor illnesses, which was unusual for me. I attributed this to the regular cold showers, which seemed to be boosting my immune system and keeping me healthier overall. 2. Improved Circulation Cold water exposure activates the cardiovascular system, improving blood flow and circulation. This can lead to better overall cardiovascular health and may help prevent conditions such as hypertension. Improved circulation also means that more oxygen and nutrients are delivered to vital organs and tissues. Personal Story : On day 120, I felt a significant improvement in my circulation. My hands and feet, which were often cold, felt warmer, and I had more energy during my workouts. The cold showers were clearly having a positive impact on my cardiovascular health. 3. Muscle Recovery Athletes often use cold water immersion to reduce muscle soreness and speed up recovery after intense physical activity. The cold water helps to constrict blood vessels, reducing inflammation and swelling. This practice can be particularly useful after strenuous workouts or competitions. Personal Story : By day 150, I started incorporating cold showers after my workouts. The difference was remarkable. My muscles felt less sore, and I recovered faster, allowing me to train harder and more consistently. Protocols for Cold Showers 1. Gradual Adaptation For those new to cold showers, it’s important to start gradually. Begin with lukewarm water and slowly decrease the temperature over a few days or weeks. This allows your body to adapt to the cold and reduces the initial shock. Personal Story : On day 1, I started with lukewarm water and gradually decreased the temperature. By day 10, I was able to withstand the cold water without feeling overwhelmed. This gradual approach made the transition much easier. 2. Duration Aim for a duration of 2-3 minutes under cold water. This is typically sufficient to experience the benefits without causing undue discomfort. As you become more accustomed to the cold, you can gradually increase the duration to 5 minutes or more. Personal Story : By day 30, I was able to stay under the cold water for 3 minutes. I focused on deep, controlled breathing, which helped me manage the discomfort and stay calm. 3. Breathing Techniques Practice deep, controlled breathing while under the cold water. This can help manage the initial shock and make the experience more tolerable. Focus on slow, deep breaths to calm your nervous system and reduce the urge to gasp. Personal Story : On day 75, I started using deep breathing techniques to stay under the cold water longer. This practice not only helped me manage the cold but also improved my overall breathing and relaxation skills. 4. Consistency Consistency is key to reaping the benefits of cold showers. Aim to incorporate them into your daily routine, ideally in the morning to kickstart your day with increased alertness and energy. Personal Story : By day 100, cold showers had become a non-negotiable part of my morning routine. The consistency paid off, and I felt more resilient and energized every day. 5. Combining with Warm Showers For those who find it difficult to start with a full cold shower, consider alternating between warm and cold water. Start with a warm shower and finish with 30 seconds to 1 minute of cold water. This can help ease the transition and still provide many of the benefits. Personal Story : On day 200, I experimented with alternating between warm and cold water. This approach made the experience more enjoyable and still allowed me to reap the benefits of cold exposure. Conclusion While more research is needed to fully understand the long-term effects, current studies indicate that daily cold showers can offer several mental and physical health benefits. By following the suggested protocols, you can maximize the effectiveness of cold water exposure and potentially improve your overall well-being. Whether you’re looking to boost your mood, reduce stress, or enhance physical recovery, cold showers may be a simple yet powerful addition to your daily routine. Personal Reflection : Over the 230 days, I learned to embrace the discomfort and see it as an opportunity for growth. The practice of staying under the cold water until I conquered the urge to get out bolstered my mental resilience, focus and control. It was like the intelligent rider regaining control of the powerful elephant, a metaphor that resonated deeply with me. This journey not only improved my physical health but also strengthened my mental fortitude. References Stanford Longevity. (2024, May 22). Jumping into the ice bath trend: Mental health benefits of cold water immersion. Retrieved from https://longevity.stanford.edu/lifestyle/2024/05/22/jumping-into-the-ice-bath-trend-mental-health-benefits-of-cold-water-immersion/ The Conversation. (2022, April 14). Cold showers: A scientist explains if they are as good for you as Wim Hof the Iceman suggests. Retrieved from https://theconversation.com/cold-showers-a-scientist-explains-if-they-are-as-good-for-you-as-wim-hof-the-iceman-suggests-181678 Verywell Health. (2023, March 15). Are cold showers good for you?. Retrieved from https://www.verywellhealth.com/are-cold-showers-good-for-you-7094732 Corelli, C. (2023, June 10). Freezing out depression: The psychological benefits of a cold shower. Retrieved from https://www.carlacorelli.com/mental-health/freezing-out-depression-the-psychological-benefits-of-a-cold-shower/
By Andrew Visagie August 31, 2023
Unhappy Marriages and Divorce: A short, but Deep Dive into the Emotional and Financial Consequences The Emotional Toll In the realm of emotions, unhappy marriages can be a breeding ground for feelings of anger, sadness, and frustration. The constant discord and lack of understanding can escalate these negative emotions, potentially leading to severe mental health issues such as depression and anxiety1 . Divorce, while sometimes a necessary step towards self-preservation and happiness, is not without its emotional costs. Feelings of guilt, shame, and a sense of failure often accompany the process of separation1 . Moreover, the impact on children can be significant, leading to emotional distress and behavioral issues1 . The Financial Burden The financial implications of an unhappy marriage and divorce are often underestimated. Impulsive spending, a common coping mechanism in unhappy marriages, can lead to financial instability2 . The cost of divorce can be staggering. The average cost of a divorce is $15,000 per person, which can rise to $100,000 in more complicated situations, such as custody disputes 3 . The transition from a dual-income household to a single-income household can pose additional financial challenges3 . The Statistics Speak Research suggests that couples who divorce or separate suffer decreased psychological well-being compared to couples who remain married4 . In fact, people who are divorced or widowed are 20% more likely to suffer from long-term health problems, such as heart disease, cancer, diabetes, or other chronic health issues5 . Financially, women are more likely to suffer after a divorce, with some reports citing that a divorced woman can lose between 25-50% of their pre-divorce income2 . The Path to Mitigation Despite the severe impacts of unhappy marriages and divorce, there are ways to mitigate these effects. Communication training can help individuals express their feelings more effectively, potentially resolving conflicts and improving the quality of the marriage1 . Personal healing, such as therapy and counseling, can also be beneficial. These services provide a safe space for individuals to express their feelings and learn coping strategies1 . Conclusion Unhappy marriages and divorce can have significant emotional and financial impacts. However, through communication training and personal healing, it is possible to mitigate these effects and move towards a happier, healthier future. Remember, it’s never too late to seek help and make a positive change in your life. Your happiness and well-being are worth fighting for. References : Waite, L. J., & Hughes, M. E. (2022). The Real Long-Term Physical and Mental Health Effects of Divorce. Psychology Today 5 . : Waite, L. J., & Doherty, W. J. (2002). Does Divorce Make People Happy? Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages. ResearchGate4 . : Forbes Finance Council. (2022). The Financial Impact Of Divorce. Forbes 3 . : Patrick, W. L. (2022). How Common Are “Loveless Marriages”? Psychology Today1 . : The Venn Diagram of Life. (2022). 5 Reasons People Stay in Unhappy Marriages. Psychology Today 2 .
By Andrew Visagie August 21, 2023
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By Andrew Visagie August 3, 2023
Ikigai is a Japanese concept that means “a reason for being”. It is the source of happiness and fulfillment that makes you feel alive and motivated. It is the intersection of what you love, what you are good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for. Finding and living your ikigai can have many benefits for your mental health and longevity. Studies have shown that people who have a strong sense of purpose and meaning in life tend to live longer, healthier, and happier lives. They also have lower levels of stress, depression, and anxiety, and higher levels of resilience, optimism, and self-esteem. But how can you find and live your ikigai? Here are 10 rules that can help you on your journey, along with the neurological and hormonal explanations of why they are important: 1. Find your ikigai The first step is to discover your ikigai, your reason for being. To do this, you can ask yourself four questions: What do you love to do? What are you good at? What does the world need from you? What can you be paid for? Try to find the common thread that connects these four aspects of your life. This is your ikigai, your passion and mission that gives you joy and satisfaction. Finding your ikigai can activate the reward system in your brain, which involves the release of neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins. These chemicals can enhance your mood, motivation, and pleasure. 2. Pursue your ikigai with balance and harmony Once you have found your ikigai, the next step is to pursue it with passion and perseverance. However, this does not mean that you should overwork yourself or neglect other aspects of your life. You should also seek balance and harmony in your activities and relationships. Remember that ikigai is not a goal, but a process. It is not something that you achieve once and for all, but something that you constantly work on and improve. It is also something that can change over time, as you grow and evolve as a person. Pursuing your ikigai with balance and harmony can regulate the stress response in your body, which involves the secretion of hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. These hormones can help you cope with challenges and threats, but too much of them can harm your health. 3. Cultivate a sense of gratitude and appreciation Another rule for living your ikigai is to cultivate a sense of gratitude and appreciation for your ikigai and everything else in your life. Be mindful of the present moment and enjoy the small pleasures that make you happy. Gratitude can help you appreciate what you have, rather than focusing on what you lack. It can also help you cope with challenges and difficulties, by reminding you of the positive aspects of your situation. Gratitude can also enhance your well-being, by boosting your mood, health, and relationships. Cultivating a sense of gratitude and appreciation can modulate the immune system in your body, which involves the production of cytokines and antibodies. These molecules can help you fight off infections and diseases, but too little or too much of them can cause inflammation. 4. Connect with others who share your ikigai or support your journey You are not alone in your quest for finding and living your ikigai. You can connect with others who share your ikigai or support your journey. These people can be your friends, family, colleagues, mentors, or role models. One way to find such people is to join a moai, a close-knit group of friends who provide social and emotional support. Moais are common in Okinawa, Japan, where people live longer than anywhere else in the world. Moais can help you stay motivated, inspired, accountable, and happy. Another way to find such people is to seek mentorship and guidance from those who have more experience or wisdom in your field. They can offer you valuable advice, feedback, and insights that can help you improve your skills and knowledge. Connecting with others who share your ikigai or support your journey can stimulate the social system in your brain, which involves the release of neurotransmitters such as oxytocin and vasopressin. These chemicals can enhance your trust, bonding, and empathy. 5. Keep learning and growing in your ikigai Learning and growing are essential parts of living your ikigai. You should always challenge yourself to improve your skills and knowledge, and seek feedback from others. You should also be open to new ideas and perspectives that can enrich your understanding. Learning and growing can help you stay curious, creative, and innovative in your ikigai. They can also help you adapt to changing circumstances and overcome obstacles. Learning and growing can also increase your self-confidence, self-efficacy, and self-actualization. Learning and growing in your ikigai can strengthen the cognitive system in your brain, which involves the formation of new neurons and synapses. These structures can enhance your memory, learning, and creativity. 6. Share your ikigai with the world Your ikigai is not only for yourself, but also for the world. You should use your talents and passions to contribute to the common good and make a positive difference. You should also inspire others with your work and your story. Sharing your ikigai with the world can help you create value and meaning for yourself and others. It can also help you connect with like-minded people who appreciate your work and support your vision. Sharing your ikigai with the world can also increase your sense of fulfillment, recognition, and impact. Sharing your ikigai with the world can activate the altruistic system in your brain, which involves the release of neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin. These chemicals can enhance your happiness, generosity, and meaning. 7. Embrace change and uncertainty as opportunities for growth and innovation Change and uncertainty are inevitable parts of life. They can be scary or stressful, but they can also be opportunities for growth and innovation. You should embrace change and uncertainty as challenges that can help you learn and grow in your ikigai. To embrace change and uncertainty, you should adopt a growth mindset, which is the belief that you can improve your abilities and outcomes through effort and feedback. You should also adopt a positive attitude, which is the tendency to focus on the bright side of things and expect the best possible outcomes. Embracing change and uncertainty as opportunities for growth and innovation can stimulate the adaptive system in your brain, which involves the activation of neural networks that enable flexible thinking and behavior. These networks can enhance your resilience, curiosity, and innovation. 8. Respect and care for your body, mind, and spirit Your body, mind, and spirit are the foundations of your ikigai. You should respect and care for them, by eating well, exercising regularly, sleeping enough, and avoiding unhealthy habits. You should also meditate, relax, and have fun. You should seek professional help if you need it. Respecting and caring for your body, mind, and spirit can optimize the homeostatic system in your body, which involves the maintenance of a stable internal environment. This system can enhance your health, well-being, and quality of life. 9. Honor your ancestors and traditions, but also embrace diversity and modernity Your ancestors and traditions are the roots of your ikigai. They are the sources of your values, beliefs, and customs that shape your identity and worldview. You should honor them, by learning from them, following them, or preserving them. However, you should also embrace diversity and modernity, which are the branches of your ikigai. They are the sources of new experiences, ideas, and opportunities that enrich your life and broaden your horizons. You should embrace them, by exploring them, accepting them, or adapting to them. Honor your ancestors and traditions, but also embrace diversity and modernity can help you balance continuity and change in your ikigai. They can also help you respect other cultures and beliefs, but also maintain your own identity. 10. Live each day as if it were your last, but also plan for the future The final rule for living your ikigai is to live each day as if it were your last, but also plan for the future. This means that you should make the most of every moment, but also prepare for the next one. Living each day as if it were your last can help you appreciate every opportunity, experience every emotion, and express every feeling. It can also help you avoid regrets, procrastination, and complacency. Living each day as if it were your last can also increase your happiness, satisfaction, and gratitude. Planning for the future can help you set goals, make plans, and take actions that align with your ikigai. It can also help you anticipate challenges, overcome difficulties, and achieve success. Planning for the future can also increase your optimism, hopefulness, and resilience. These are the 10 rules for finding and living your ikigai. By following these rules, you can discover your reason for being that makes you feel alive and fulfilled. You can also enjoy the benefits of having a strong sense of purpose and meaning in life that can boost your mental health and longevity.
By Andrew Visagie June 26, 2023
10 Stoic Principles for Depression with SHIP Therapy
By Andrew Visagie June 20, 2023
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By Andrew Visagie June 13, 2023
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By Andrew Visagie June 13, 2023
Why Ship Therapy Works: A New Perspective Many people think that therapy works because it provides validation and empathy that we can’t get in isolation. They believe that we need someone else to listen to us, understand us, and affirm us, and that without this, we feel lonely, depressed, and hopeless. While validation and empathy are certainly important and beneficial, they are not the only or the main reasons why therapy works. In fact, therapy works not because it gives us something we lack, but because it helps us discover something we already have. Ship therapy is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on facilitating the spontaneous healing processes in clients. It is based on the assumption that every person has an innate capacity to heal from psychological wounds and traumas, and that this healing can occur spontaneously when the right conditions are met. Ship therapy does not focus on pathology or diagnosis, but on creating a safe and supportive environment for the client to access their own healing resources. Ship therapy works because it helps us develop the skills and attitudes to validate and empathise with ourselves and others, regardless of our external circumstances. Ship therapy works because it teaches us how to connect with ourselves and others in meaningful ways, not because it compensates for our lack of connection. What does this mean? It means that ship therapy helps us learn how to listen to our own thoughts and feelings, without judging or rejecting them. It means that ship therapy helps us understand our own motivations and needs, without blaming or shaming ourselves. It means that ship therapy helps us affirm our own worth and value, without depending or relying on others. It means that ship therapy helps us accept ourselves as we are, while also encouraging us to grow and change.  It also means that ship therapy helps us learn how to listen to others’ thoughts and feelings, without interrupting or dismissing them. It means that ship therapy helps us understand others’ motivations and needs, without criticising or attacking them. It means that ship therapy helps us affirm others’ worth and value, without manipulating or exploiting them. It means that ship therapy helps us accept others as they are, while also supporting them to grow and change. By developing these skills and attitudes, we become more confident, resilient, and compassionate. We become more capable of handling stress, conflict, and uncertainty. We become more open to new experiences, perspectives, and opportunities. We become more fulfilled, happy, and healthy. Ship therapy works because it empowers us to be our best selves and to relate to others in the best ways possible. Ship therapy works because it transforms us from within, not because it fixes us from without. If you are interested in experiencing the benefits of ship therapy for yourself, contact any of us on https://www.ship.org.za/contact-us/ today to book a session with one of our qualified and experienced ship therapists. We are here to help you discover your own potential and connect with others in meaningful ways.
By Andrew Visagie June 13, 2023
What is SHIP therapy and why it works when healing depression and anxiety.
By Andrew Visagie May 16, 2023
We need to talk about how effective psychiatric medication is, especially with the ever rising cases world wide of depression and suicide.
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